-
Online: Yesterday
-
India
- Age:
- 44
- City:
- East Providence Rhode Island
- Hair:
- Pink
- Relation Type:
- Openminded Bi guy looking for equally cool chic.
- Seeking:
- Wants real sex
- Relationship Status:
- Married
Register
-
About
At least its an ok read When writing a personal ad, its really hard to get across wha t kind of person you are, so I decided to post something I wrote a while ago to give you a better idea of who I am. Also, I like to show off, because I'm a big show-off. Please enjoy.
I remember being younger (again, I'm a very old man), and looking forward to reading the morning newspaper. I never read the sports or the actual news, the only thing I ever read was the comics. They used to be funny. Gary Larson of "The Far Side" could make me laugh with a simple drawing and three word quip, and the genious that was Calvin and Hobbs is something that I still read from time to time (in books) when the happenings of adult life get to be too stressful or mundane.
Now? All of the comics just plain suck. They don't take me back to a better time, they don't make me chuckle at the absurdity of the world, and they certainly don't serve as the 5 minute mental vacation that they used to.
When I read the comics now, all I can think about is how each joke could have been better. The world and its sense of humor has changed since the 1950's, why haven't the comics changed to fit that sensibility?
And so, as sad as this sounds, the only way I have found to entertain myself with the comics is to provide my own back story and/or analysis for adult looking hot sex New london Missouri 63459 each strip (Calvin never needed a back story, he was a complex kid.) So, without further adieu, here is what I am thinking every time I open a newspaper.
Frank and Ernest: I sort of like this strip just because it uses my name. However, the strip takes forever to make one stupid pun that isn't really that funny. Frank and Ernest aren't gay in the traditional sense, but they don't ever seem to have women around, and they always hang out together and flirt under the guise of "cracking wise". Kind of sweet if you think about it.
Zits: Probably the best of the "new comics" but still something of a letdown. You have a 15 year old kid who has a messy room, eats all the time, is lazy, and barely talks to his parents, and you don't once talk about smoking pot? C'mon. This damn kid is higher that Whitney Houston and Nate Newton put together. Also, this will be the first mention in a disturbing trend of comic kids not having the same hair color as either of their parents. More on this later (I know, you can't wait).
B.C.: Oh good, I was preached at by some lame ass comic strip this morning, now I don't have to go to church this month.
The Born Loser: My theory here is that Brutus is one of those guys that everyone assumes is okay, and that being the butt of jokes and being depressed is just sort of his "thing". In his head, he constantly thinks about how many people would show up at his funeral if he killed himself. He'll do it someday.
Blondie: I like this strip better when its in black and white because I can blur my eyes, and Mrs. Bumstead (Blondie) looks like she's not wearing a shirt. That's hot. Also, what happened to their kids? You never see them anymore. My theory is that the son is in prison for tearing the tag off of a mattress, and the daughter left with the first guy who showed up in their driveway with a motorcycle, an 8-ball, and a bad ass mullett.
The Family Circus: You can tell that the dad just doesn't want to be there. I predict that he's going to "go out for a pack of cigarettes" any day now. I wouldn't blame him, the two middle kids aren't even his. They have red hair, the dad's is blond and the mom's is brown. Billy, the oldest, is the love child (conceived at woodstock by my estimation). But the middle two, Dolly and Jeffy, were actually fathered by someone else (see below).
Haggar The Horrible: Helga and Haggar do nothing but argue and fight about anything and everything. I've known couples like this. I bet they fuck like angry wild animals, which is why they are still together. But Haggar, such a man as he is, is not one to be restricted to just one woman. He is also the father of Dolly and Jeffy from the Family Circus, that is why they have red hair. Haggar's two meetings with the mom from Family Circus were not romantic, but they damn sure were passionate. Here's how I think that went;
Haggar: 'Sup girl?
The Mom: Oh my god, I can't resist your raw animal magnetism! (this is how women talk in my head)
Haggar: Yeah I get that alot.
The Mom: You had me at hello!
Haggar: I didn't say hello, and I'm not wearing a condom.
The Mom: That's fine, my husband's a punk bitch anyway.
Haggar: You talk way too much.
(Coitus ensues)
the end
Wizard of Id: How can you draw poorly, not be funny, and still have a comic strip. It seems like those would be the requisite qualifications for working in that industry. There's nothing the kids can relate to more than the bounty of humor associated witht the feudal system in medeivel Europe. They ed the King the Fink, OH SNAP!!
Doonesbury: I've never understood why, in a printed comic in a newspaper, someone can say that the president has taken away their first amendment rights. It's sort of a catch 22. If the President really had taken away your rights, you wouldn't be able to have your comic strip printed. Also, stop complaining about the country where a guy as untalented as you can make good money drawing some stupid cartoon. If you lived in Iran, you'd be the guy who washed the royal family's third-string camels.
Beetle Bailey: These guys have been in the comics for 50 years now, are in the Army, and have yet to fight in a war. Not In Korea, Grenada, Vietnam, Iraq, Afganistan, none of them. Pretty strange. Also, General Halftrack has two women who work in his office. One is sort of a plain lady who wears a standard green military office work uniform. The other, Mrs Buxley, for some reason, gets to wear a knockout red dress while being a member of the US Army. She's super hot too, so I also prefer this strip in black and white. They should do more strips about how her and Beetle are fuck-buddies. They've done a few.
For Better or for Worse: Somewhere along the line, the author of this strip Lynn Johnston, forgot that this is supposed to be a comic strip. Now its just the life and times of some well-to-do stuck up WASP family from Canada. Except for the Canada part, this is my life. Trust me, its boring. I write blogs about comic strips.
Dennis the Menace: By today's standards, this kid is a saint. He hasn't shot anyone, and he doesn't sell any (hard) drugs. You know that some day, probably in their late teens, or when Dennis is home from college and drunk, and Margaret is feeling super vulnerable, they are going to hook up. Margaret will totally be into it, but Dennis will become all stand-offish and distant afterwards.
Peanuts: Why is charlie brown bald? I mean, he's only like 10 years old. Why is Lucy such a bitch to everyone? I bet all the kids hang out together, and don't tell her about it, and then when she finds out about it she says "Argh" and does something mean, but when she gets home, she cries for hours into her pillow.
Garfield: This strip does not have nearly enough Odie in it anymore. The fat and lazy cat thing is wearing pretty thin, but who couldn't go for more retarded dog? Everyone likes retarded dogs. Oh, and with the exception of Liz, total sausage party.
Dilbert: Its funny how quickly the perception of somone who put up a dilbert cartoon at the office turned from "what a daring and dynamic office rebel, I wonder if he's single?" to "allright, who's the nerd who put up the dilbert cartoon? We get it, working for a company sucks". Honestly, I think this only took about two years.
Cathy: We get it Cathy, you're a transexual guy and you're proud of it. Stop rubbing it in our faces. Does your husband mind that your penis is bigger than his? I think that that is why her swimsuits never fit. As a side note to this strip (and any of the others for that matter), some of us comics readers have a wierd form of obsessive compulsive disorder, where we have to read everything thats on a page. When you fill your strip with store signs or a repeated phrase, I have to read all of them. I don't know why. It would save me a lot of time if you could stop this.
Well, that's it. I want the authors of these strips to step it up big time. Make me laugh again. Be relevant. Take Chances. Push the envelope. If you don't, the comics will only be a fond memory of a time when people used to be funny.
In summation; I desperately need a girlfriend.Married wants nsa
29 M DDF looking for casual fun any Norman bbw want some dick.
-
Online: Yesterday
-
Traci
- Age:
- 29
- City:
- Hilo
- Hair:
- Blonde
- Relation Type:
- Skilled with hands?
- Seeking:
- I searching sex dating
- Relationship Status:
- Married
Register
-
About
Toy fun for adventurous woman m4w Looking for adventurous woman to fuck with my toy. I have a huge " and thick strap on that fits over my cock to give you a cock. Doesnt matter if you know you can take it or youve never had bigger and just want to see if you can take it. You must host as I am married and doing this on the dl. I prefer a curvy woman and they will go to the front of the line. Please put your breast size in subject line of to avoid spam.
Bitch want sex dating
Stop hiding sexual horniness. fuck buddie free Santa rosa cam chat sex hookup.
-
Online: Yesterday
-
Adalberto
- Age:
- 28
- City:
- Logan
- Hair:
- Blue & black
- Relation Type:
- Play cards or maybe a walk.
- Seeking:
- I am searching horny people
- Relationship Status:
- Never Married
Register
-
About
Thick dick for a slim female I'm looking for a slim female that can adult looking hot sex New london Missouri 63459 take a dick anyway I give it to you . I can host, looking for tonight or tomorrow only. I want to suck fuck for as long as you can take it.
Local want sex dating
Hola .alguna. amiga. ? fuck a horny woman from Atlanta.
Naughty woman wants sex personals
-
Divorced older women ready sex tonight jewish dating service 
Walgreens in ozark m4w
your name is krissy you adult looking hot sex New london Missouri 63459 work there . i bought cigars from you. you are gorgeous. would love to meet you. put " cigars" in header so i know
-
Divorced older women ready sex tonight honry women 
Divorced older women ready sex tonight lady chat Check out this hot footage between a Call girl and a young boy. Aunty Bares It All. by hotclips. views. Sexy Babe Shows Her Naked Body Part Must Watch Hot Comedy Scenes Laal Joda. by hotclips. 
Sweet couples searching nsa double you dating
-
but really I only date via personal ads. well, that's what I did before I met the hubby. Oh, wait, there was the one I thought was butch but was really an FTM at here! bar (of all places). I went up to him cold to tell him he made my day by being there. But that was for amusement. I just don't have the time to hem and haw over anyone. Sweet couples searching nsa matures wanting sex 
Looking to please you m4w
Looking fora woman to give long lasting pleasure. You tell me what you want Im down. I have to host. Not looking to message all night. Want to get this going
-
Adult looking hot sex Northampton Pennsylvania 18067 
BODY SHOTS LADIES! m4w
bored here at home, and would love to see some body shots from you hot WNC ladies! let's have some fun! face pics not required! Adult looking hot sex Morrison Illinois 61270 
In town for a couple months, let's have some fun
I am a single man down here for work just looking to have a good time. Must be disease free. me some and let's get this thing going. Age doesn't matter. Put "fun" as the subject line so I will know you are real. 
Adult looking hot sex Montrose Illinois 62445